[cassie]

The latest information about the disappearance of Jimmy2-Nutz

name: Joe Squirell
AKA: Cracker
Weight 4 pounds
Height  4.5 inches
*
Some squirrels are known to turn into demons occasionally which could possibly increase their height by a few inches

Breaking News
Latest information of the sighting of Joe Squirell AKA..Cracker..
Mr. Squirell is wanted for questioning in the disappearance of Jimmy Two Nutz

Authorities believed Joe Squierll lived in a van down by the river.
An anonymous caller who would only give the name Cissy has give information about what the fugitive is driving  these dayz!
It's said to be a silver 2007 Cadillac CTS.. Here's the license number. If you were to spot this vehicle, don't be a hero call the FBI immediately.




Read more: http://wiki.answers.com/Q/What_is_the_height_of_a_squirrels#ixzz1C7XYnnwr

[cassie]

This too shall pass!

OK Go - This Too Shall Pass - Rube Goldberg Machine version - Official

[OceanFlower]

Ok so I'm not crazily obsessed as I thought I was: I've been collecting sand from the various beaches I've visited over the last two years or so: OBX, Mavericks, Santa Cruz & now I read in the latest issue of Men's Journal (that's the one w/o the nude pix of women) that 10 time world surf champ Kelly Slater also collects beach sand. Naturally his specimens are much more exotic than mine. Right not I have the OBX sample in a baby food jar but the Kali sand still in zip loc bags but he had a good idea & stores his in what looks wine or beer bottles--sheesh why didn't I think of that! I guess that's why he's the Champ!  :D

[cassie]

 :) beach sand, hmm.... first time I've heard of anyone collecting sand... great idea... one would need to visit sunny beaches to keep the collection going......

[OceanFlower]

Okay so here's the call you never want to get: last week went to the dermatologist for a full body scan; I'm gonna be 64 on Monday so as one ages these are things ya gotta do right? what got me going to the derma in the first place was I'm starting to bruise quite easily primarily on my arms those nasty looking old man bruises that us old people get and basically that's what the derma doc told me, a strikingly beautiful Indian woman i might add what else right? anyway her prognosis at that time was hey you're getting old live with it! she asked me then if applied sunblock.. never! wore a hat? never! sunblock and hats? that's for pansies and small babies! and she shook her head in disbelief when i named off the places i've lived: So Cal, Mexico, Florida, I'm a pool rat and a beach boy worked construction all during the 60s and 70s out in the sun mostly with my shirt off... she took my arm and held it up & said Look your skin is severely sun damaged and is as thin as tissue paper that's why you're bruising... i had to wait 3 or 4 months for an appt for the full body scan.. so there i am lying on the exam table in my skivvies feeling absolutely ridiculous in one of those paper gowns they give you to wear and everything is going along well until she gets to my left arm and says What's this? Ah yes that! the remains of a homemade tattoo consisting of the initials of my steady girlfriend in highschool SG;  I was maybe 16 at the time and of course I'm gonna be with this girl for the rest of my life right? that's what all us 16 year old boys think, so of course I'm gonna get her initials tattooed into my left arm for all the world to see right? so me and the boys got some sewing needles taped three of them together a bottle of india ink a pint of southern comfort and a six pak of beer and drove down to the local beach and me being the youngest one at the time was chosen to go first... Johnny B did the artwork I guess you'd call it... dip the needles into the india ink and then perforate the skin, blood and ink running down my arm, while i'm chugging on the pint and a can of beer, a real diddy bop rite of male passage... did it hurt? like a motherfucker! but man once it healed i wore it proud with the sleeves of my tshirt rolled up to the shoulder for all the world to see that i loved SG that i was hers and she was mine well at least until after graduation anyway... and SG herself was a little surprised that i had done that branded myself for her maybe she saw the future a little clearer than i did.. but she was still my girl and i was her guy and like the The Boss says we were the wildest things you ever did see we liked the same music we liked the same bands we liked the same clothes and when the fights broke out at the dance clubs she stood back to back with me punching and kicking with the best of them... and like all true highschool romances we went our separate ways after graduation but I still carried the torch for her big time... one night i spied her riding around with some guy from out of town in his Corvette I was probably half drunk at the time & got my buddy to follow them and the Corvette guy not knowing our town so well trapped himself in a cul-de-sac my buddy pulled his car up sideways so he couldn't get around us and i got out of the car.. this was well past the diddy bop days but not quite the hippie era either... i can't remember why but the shirt i was wearing had been torn down the middle from the neckline down to my midsection the sleeves ripped off hair gone wild and the shade of a full beard coming in... in a word i looked like a madman i challenged the guy to get out of the car but he wouldn't budge and i pounded on the hood of that corvette with my fists in a drunken rage I could see SG in the passenger seat watching me... the guy somehow got around my buddy's car and peeled outta there in a big hurry... some weeks later SG stopped me on the street and said, You really scared that guy you know! Needless to say she wasn't seeing him anymore basically because he didn't want to deal with SG's crazy ex-boyfriend namely me! and what i didn't know at the time is that since Corvettes have fiberglass bodies i did several hundred dollars worth of damage pounding on the hood of the car... well tough shit bud, you don't come into my town riding around with my girl without paying some sort of price.... plus real men don't drive Corvettes! No real man would ever drive a plastic car without a trunk! Sadly in 1972 SG died of a heroin overdose and so i have a constant reminder of her whenever i happen to notice that faded tattoo... but after all these years if you look hard enough you can still see the remnants of those initials... oddly the tat seems to stand out more once i've achieved my summer tan go figger right?  but now the finale: the doc then exclaims, Oh and what is this? shiny and smooth! not good! and for the last two or three years what i thought was some sort of weird pimple or a wart or god knows what turns out to be what might be basal cell skin cancer and as the doc said with a laugh, Well if you have to have skin cancer this is the kind to have! she took a biopsy and told me it would take a week or two for the results and they woud notify me re: the results in one of two ways: letter = good; phone call = bad. and sure enough yesterday morning at work i get the call: the biopsy came back positive for basal cell skin cancer and i go in on May 10 to have it cut out.. i'm told its no big deal that this isn't the killer kind of cancer but still when you hear the word cancer in relation to your own mortatlity its still a little scary no matter how or where you slice it right? no pun intended! LOL! The Stones had it right, what a drag it is getting old!   ;)

[Sven2]

Oh, Flower, that thing won't kill you, worries and foreboding notwithstanding, although your long suffering readers just might,  :D :D :D, Mr. Pinchon-lite - not a single paragraph!  ::) :P :o
The story is a perfect tragicomedy, you're a tough one! Hope your beautiful lady doctor insisted that you slather on the sunblock from now on, so  we'd have you around for another fifty or so years. I admire your mojo, my friend.

Love,
S.

More stories, OK?

[OceanFlower]

oh svennie baby you know when i'm a roll all grammar goes straight to hell

:P  :D  :-*

jesus christ jesus christ jesus christ!
I'm sixty fucking four years old today!
where does the time go eh?

Love You All!

[Sven2]

We owe you a kiss on the cheek, a pat on the back and a bear hug then!  :-*
Kisses and love, young man! Many happy returns!

[OceanFlower]

thanks sweetheart!   ;D

[OceanFlower]

I guess you could call this a commentary on American values:

A buddy of mine at work passes along his copy of Rolling Stone & this month Rihanna is on the cover showing quite a bit of booty.. when he gave me the magazine he said, I'd put that away if I were you, meaning the exposed booty might offend someone or be deemed "inappropriate" reading material at the workplace... he had already been called on the carpet for some comic books he reads but they weren't the "Adult" kind just regular comics but some busy body saw something he or she took offense to and reported him to HR or some shit... what's weird about this is on the inside of the mag there's an article about the American "Kill Team" in Afghanistan with some rather grisly pix of American soldiers smiling and laughing while posing with the corpses of civilians they've summarily executed... I just found it rather disconcerting as usual that in America we'd be more uptight about the pic of some young girls ass over the pics of slaughtered civilians courtesy of US armed forces a la My Lai (if you don't know what My Lai is look that up in your Funk and Wagnall's okay?) On another note: Rihanna herself got in trouble not long ago for grabbing her crotch while performing... I sawthe video.. no big deal really.. but what really got me was they tried to lay the blame of all this crotch grabbing on Jim Morrison! LOL! I'll betcha Jim is having a really good laugh up in Rock and Roll heaven over a couple of mai tais with Janis!   8)

[Sven2]

Alphabet and numbers 1-0 by Google according to popularity.
Some surprises.

[OceanFlower]

Hey youse all... the mighty Oceanflower goes in today to have some skin cancer dug out of his most manly upper left arm today at 1:40PM EDT... so send me some good vibes... no big deal really but like i say when the doctor says your name and the word "cancer" in the same sentence it is always a little disturbing isn't it?  the worst part is they're telling me for like 4-6 wks afterward no pushups pullups pumping weights going to the pool surfing all the fun stuff i like to do to keep this fat old body of mine somewhat in check and yes, svennie i know exactly what you're thinking... good time to do some writing right?
well i can still walk and/or run... sort of LOL! Love you all! Peace and Stay Free!   :-*

[Sven2]

Is that Eastern time or some other, Flower? Is it over now?
Don't worry, the worst you'll get would be a terrible itch under the bandage, when the new skin starts to grow. Imagine it's on your back where you can't reach it, - torture!

Did they give you some nice pills? Like, you know....?  :P

Be well, man.
S.

[OceanFlower]

yep all over now piece of pie! easy as cake! altho my arm is a little sore
nope no dr feelgood pills dammit! but it ain't quite over yet... whatever
she cut out she's sending to pathology to get the real deal sigh! get the
stitches out May 24th until that time i won't be the starting pitcher for any
big league games that's for damn sure Peace!   :P

[OceanFlower]

Hey I'm not malignant! who woulda thought right?

OK i blew it totally missed Bob Dylan's 70th birthday yesterday... wasn't aware of it until i turned on the radio on the way to work.. apparently up in the civilized part of the world my soul sister informed me that one rock and roll station was playing Bob songs continously throughout the day... right on! the thing I like about Bob is he can tell the Masters of War to fuck off but he'll also tell the Masters of Hip and Cool and Poltical Correctness to fuck off too.. remember when he did the Victoria's Secret ad? and all the so called hipsters got offended? The Bob's response with sly grin: "Oh? was that wrong?"   8)