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Further Days of JFC, His Visit, Episode 19

Started by Sven2, June 03, 2010, 08:58:36 AM

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Sven2

The story continues.
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Sven2

#1
The early sun burns the asphalt in the courtyard of Snug Harbor. The shades are drawn on the windows and no one besides Ramon, who is sweeping the parking lot, sees a yellow taxi as it pulls up. With John in tow Kai, still wearing a red hat, opens the door to room F. The hat gets caught in the broken screen; Kai throws it in the yard and enters the dark room.

Ramon: (nods to himself) About time. (he picks the hat up, shakes the dust off and hangs it on the doorknob).
http://youtu.be/09dQmeB_NgU

Sounds of Beach Boys "Sloop John B" are filling the room, it's a cell phone alarm on the night stand going apparently for a while. Butchie is in bed, mumbling something in his sleep. Kai turns the phone off, however we can hear the song until it ends.  Kai looks around at the empty beer bottles, the Bob Marley banner draped over the chair, half opened cardboard boxes on the floor. For a long moment she watches Butchie's troubled sleep, then goes to the kitchenette and fills a glass with water and ice cubes from the fridge.Kai returns to the room  drinking the water,  when finished, she walks over to Butchie's bed, pulls open his shorts and drops the ice inside.

John: (smiling) Baptize this fucking pistol!

Butchie:
(jumping up) Whaa...what the fuck! (he jumps off the bed, jumping up and down to get rid of the ice). Jesus fucking Christ.... it's you, Kai? (Kai smiles, lifts the glass to drink last drops of water.) Shit, Kai, what the hell's wrong with you, you're gonna freeze my balls off! (Butchie sees Kai's shaved and bandaged head) Oh, babe....you were hurt.... (his face turns somber) I thought you were dead... just now I saw.... everyone.... in the dark, then like a flash of lightning or fucking something.... I don't know, fire..... everyone's dead.... It was like watching from somewhere else, where.... Mom, Dad.....Tina.... the whole fucking town....

Kai: Butchie..... I saw you....

She and Butchie stand still, joining hands. They hug each other with desperate urgency, in search of comfort.
Butchie: (quickly regains his composure) He wasn't there, Shaunie, with the dead, you know!

John walks out of the bathroom, in his widespread arms he's holding two wetsuits with the camouflage pattern. John walks up to Butchie and Kai as they're still standing in a tight embrace.

John: The end is near!

Butchie: Wow, wow, hold your fucking horsies, John, what do you mean? Like THE END?

Kai: Butchie, do you think he knows anything? Wait....

John: I don't know, Butchie, instead. (Kai and Butchie exchange understanding glances)

Butchie: What the fuck I know about this shit, Kai, is that he said to me yesterday (he imitates John's voice) "everyone died"! Right, John? Where's Slim Jim, when you need him!

Kai: Who?

Butchie: Linc fucking Stark! Anyways, John, buddy, is there a war, 'cause I sure didn't fucking signed for any draft, and now that I think about it, I'm real thirsty, my brother, for the draft beer.... or bottled!

John: (making an encouraging  grimace) You need to get wet!


--svengali2
Do no harm

Sven2

#2
 

Palaka is asleep in bed on his back. The room is dark with only a small shade of light seeping through the fully drawn curtains. As his image comes to forbearance, it appears that he has not shaven in days. He is dreaming and talking nonsense.

Palaka: No, no... no... yes! No. Yes! No. Yes! I'm OK, You OK? Whoa! Whoa Whoa Whoa! Wait!
He wakes suddenly and sits up in bed. Realizing he has been dreaming, he breathes a sigh of relief and falls back in place. Looking around the room he begins to realize he is in a strange place. Certain things are familiar but this is not his room. He sits up quickly and looks around . There is no sign of Freddie or his belongings. Beginning to panic, now he stands up – but his legs give way and he falls to the floor.  


Palaka:
Oh shit! Oh Shit! Not again! Oh Shit!
Seeing the light from the peephole in the door, he begins to crawl – almost slithering to the door. Pulling himself up he opens the door and a wave of light floods his vision – temporarily blinding him. He staggers out of the room covering his eyes and as his vision clears, he sees that he is in the Snug Harbor parking lot. Ramon is across the lot sweeping.

Palaka: Hey! Hey...a....what.... ah....the big one?

Ramon points Palaka to his right.
As Palaka begins to walk we see that he is coming out of room 24. He is in his underwear. Palaka approaches Freddie's room and reaches for the doorknob but it is locked. He begins knocking frantically on the door.

(Cut back to Ramon who has gone into the office and is dialing the phone. )

Ramon: He's awake.......He looks...normal, I guess.

The door opens and Freddie stands in the doorway.
Palaka: (trying to look calm) Hey, boss. Uh...how long....uh...I mean...what's going on?

Freddie: Well, if it ain't Abraham Lincoln. What's goin' on is that you should put on some fucking clothes before you scare the slaves back into slavery.
Freddie steps aside and Palaka enters the room.

Palaka: I gotta pee!

--Waxon

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Do no harm

Sven2

#3
Cut to a scene of a young man who appears to be in his early 20's with long black hair riding a bike along the street. It is the now-young again, Dr Smith. He turns into the Snug Harbor parking lot and pulls up to the office. Ramon is standing in the doorway.

Ramon: (pointing to Freddie's room) He over there.


Michael: (standing his bike up along the side of the building) Thanks.

--Waxon

--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Do no harm

Sven2

#4
Freddie's room.
Freddie sits back on his bed. Palaka returns from the bathroom showered and shaved.


Palaka: Hey, boss, you hungry? I could go get us some food..... and a paper perhaps. Maybe we should get a subscription.

Freddie: Three days.

Palaka: (thinking) I give up...The resurrection?

Freddie: Your  fucking resurrection.

Palaka: Light equipment, remember?

There is a knock at the door.

Palaka: Are you expecting anyone?

Freddie: No. (Freddie reaches for the bedside table and puts his hand partially in the drawer)
Looking through the peep hole, Palaka sees the young Dr. Smith.

Palaka: It's just some kid.

Freddie: See what he wants.

Palaka: (cracks the door open and peers out) Hello!

Dr. Smith:
How are you feeling, Palaka?

Palaka: And that would be what business of yours?

Dr. Smith: It's Michael Smith, Palaka. I heard you were awake. (Confused, Palaka looks at Freddie )

Freddie: Let him in.

Palaka: (Opening the door) Do I know you, kid?

Dr. Smith: (entering) Well, sort of. (Looking at Freddie for help) Hello, Freddie.
Palaka looks at Freddie now returning to his relaxed posture, arm folded.
Dr. Smith: I am a friend of the Yosts.

Palaka: You look familiar, but...

Dr. Smith: (motioning to Freddie) What has he told you?

Freddie: Nothing.

Dr. Smith: I see.....Well, um, why don't we sit down and talk?

Palaka:
Can't – I was just on my way out.

Freddie: He's hungry.

Dr. Smith: Oh, well, yes, I am sure you are - perhaps later, I guess.

Freddie: Yeah, later.

Dr. Smith:  Hmm. Well, Ok – you have my phone number. I'll wait to hear from you.

Palaka: (shrugging his shoulders) Yea, we'll call you.

Dr. Smith: (to Palaka) You look well.

Palaka: OK. Don't call us, we'll call you, kid. (he closes the door. To Freddie) Nice kid, but a little strange.....  Anything I need to know before I go out?

Freddie: (looking away) No.

--Waxon

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

My Morning Jacket - I'm Amazed (Live on Letterman)

Cissy walks around the house. She lights a cigarette and stares in space. She is restless, moving from place to place. She walks to the window and begins tearing off yellow wilted leaves on the hanging plant. The hot cigarette ashes fall on her foot.

Cissy: Fuck that shit! Jesus, Mitch, not again......

She pushes the cigarette into the pot, and the plant falls from its hook, the pot cracks, the soil spills on the floor. Cissy kicks the pot, goes to the table to light another cigarette. She is sitting at the table. Her eyes are closed, the unlit cigarette in her hand.

--svengali2
Do no harm

Waxon

#5
(Cut to the coffee shop)
Dwayne is at the computer and Jerri is behind the counter.  


Jerri:  I have to go out – should I lock the door?

(Dwayne doesn't resond)

Jerri: I take that as a "yes" (to herself) You can't turn a mule into a thoroughbred.

Jerri leaves locking the door behind her.

As Dwayne stares at his computer screen, we see images of the Snug Harbor parking lot.  Freddie is standing in the doorway looking out.  In the background Ramon is sweeping.  Into the picture comes a skateboarder into the parking lot.  He jumps his board onto the shuffleboard court and it immediately slips right out from under his feet.  The rider falls hard to the concrete and Ramon drops his broom and rushes to his aid.

At that moment, there is a loud crash outside the coffee shop.  Startled, Dwayne looks out the window to see another boy flat on his back.  The wheels of an upside down skateboard are still spinning. The boy is not moving and a small crowd is gathering.  Dwayne opens the front door and kneels at the boy's side.  As the crowd grows, Dwayne shouts,
"Call 911".  A man from the crowd bends to pick up the boy.

Dwayne: Don't move him!

Dwayne bends down to feel breath on his cheek from the boy and then moves his ear to the chest to listen for a heartbeat..  A voice from the  crowd speaks:

Michael (Smith):  Are you a doctor?

Dwayne: No, but we need one fast.

Michael: I'm in pre-med.

Dwayne: Someone get me a blanket or a coat!

Michael takes his shirt off and hands it to Dwayne.  Two other men in the crowd do the same, followed by Dwayne. Dwayne places the shirts on the boy - using them to keep him warm.

--Waxon

Sven2

#6
Lovely and intriguing, Wax.
I'm eager to read more. And then some more!

You know, even if it's only very few people that will read Further Days, it would serve its goal. I love George Harrison song "Horse to the water", Jerry's comment reminded me about that. Funny.

Do you have plans for Bill Jacks and Vietnam Joe? They are still sitting at Bill's house as of the end of last episode. I have something to play with, just don't know what's your ideas for the next scene.

Have to tell you, that it's perfectly easy to transfer posts from the BB to the blog! Format is compatible to the t and you don't have to go through bolds and itallics again. Also, I posted your scene where it should be - at the bottom of the episode, the scene itself is in drafts. Don't worry, nothing (almost nothing) gets lost on my watch. Can't say "no one" though.

Do no harm

Waxon

I have no plans for anything!  Furthermore, I hope someone will take my scenes and move them along as they wish.  I am just trying to stay true to all of the hints that were given to us in the abrupt and hurried final episode.  I am open to anything as far as this story goes.

Sven2

I think it's safe to assume (if assuming is ever safe) that given few more seasons to continue the story, Milch would've inevitably moved away from the suggested at the end story lines. As I understand (up to my very limited abilities) Milch takes his inspiration from today's events, including his deeply personal experience. I'd say, today would (or should maybe?) lead us in a different direction. But -what do I know, not much.

Meanwhile,  let's continue, let's see where it goes.
Do no harm

Sven2

#9
In the clear light of the morning Cissy is stacking dirty dishes in the sink that is already overflowing. Two filled up trash bags sit next to her feet.  When she turns her head, she sees Shaun and a girl with long blond hair walking through the corridor by the kitchen, trying not to get noticed. Their eyes meet.

Shaun: Hi, Grams.... It's Christie.... (he doesn't know what else to say).... Christina....
Not answering, Cissy looks at him, then, appraisingly, at the girl. She opens the top cabinet and takes out two bowls, puts them on the table and points at a box of cereal in the center of the table.

Cissy: Cereal.

Shaun and the girl look uncomfortable.

Shaun: Thanks, Grams, we're gonna bounce. (The girl smiles and gives him a quick nudge.)

Cissy: You want a peanut butter sandwich?

Shaun:(takes the girl by the arm) No, Grams, we're good.

Cissy hears them laughing outside. She moves the trash bags to the front door so they block the entrance and returns to the sink. Turning the faucet on she looks through the window, lost in thought. She puts her hands under the water and watches them as they scrub away.

Cissy: Fucking princess, ten inch nails!  (She again walks over to the front door, and moves the trash bags placing them at the side entrance of the kitchen).


--svengali2
Do no harm

Sven2

#10
At the Internet Cafe "Spinning Wheel" is quietly playing on the radio.

Spinning Wheel - High Quality Version

Tina and Linc are sitting at a table. Tina is crumbling a muffin on her plate. She speaks without looking at Linc.

Tina: I can't do it. I just can't.

At the table near one of the windows Daphne is talking to Meyer, who is watching the street as the cars pass by. Daphne stabs the melon wedge with a spoon, and droplets of the juice spray all over her white blouse. She grabs a napkin, dropping her spoon on the floor.

Daphne: (irritated) What are we doing here, Meyer? I have to prepare for your mother's visit, go to the cleaners and pick up your suit.... and a million other things! What is she (throwing an angry look to Jerri) serving here, yesterday's pastries? Oh, I know.... You don't like my cooking! Do you like my cooking, Meyer, be honest with me, is that what stands between us now? I barely slept last night, I was having nightmares, some dinosaur was chasing me through the cemetery, and, Meyer, he ate, no, he swallowed my beautiful Italian pumps whole! Meyer, are you even listening?

Meyer: Yes, my love, I am listening. The dinosaur, very interesting. (he continues to look out into the busy street)

A sudden noise outside attracts the attention of all of the people in the café, and they look out through the windows. It's a skateboarder who fell on the pavement. Dwayne runs out as the rest of the patrons stay inside.
The music is interrupted by sudden silence. Linc drags his chair close to Tina, the chair makes loud scratching noise on the tile floor. Tina doesn't turn her head. Sitting down, Linc gently moves Tina's long hair away from her face, folding a strand of it behind her ear.


Linc: I want to see your face.

Tina: Do not touch me! (She pulls her hair down, then seeing as Linc's expression changes,  she folds it behind her ear) That... fucker would say: Move your hair, sugar, we want to see how you're enjoying it.... Wouldn't tell the cameraman to stop rolling.... Linc, I thought I...am... I... could

Linc: (flips open his cell and spends few moments pressing different buttons and looking at the screen. He closes the phone and waves to Jerri. Taking money out of his wallet he smiles to Jerri) Hundred for bringing it to our table.

Jerri: What fuckin' business would I have without my regulars!? All here, like flies on sticky tape!

Linc: (he looks at Tina, thinking aloud) If you are the whore of Babylon, what does that make me? A moneychanger? That I can do! Seems to still be allowed.... You wouldn't mind getting a haircut, would you, milady? (Taking Tina's hand he makes her stand up) For a million? Three blocks down.

Tina raises her hand to slap Linc, he catches it and kisses Tina's  hand.

Tina: You'll lose all your money, you sick fuck!

Jerri rolls her eyes. She walks over to Dwayne who returned and settled at his computer and gives him a wet willie. Dwayne shakes his head in protest.

Dwayne: Can't you leave me alone? (he is watching the screen that shows a skateboarder in Snug Harbor parking lot, lying flat on his back, Ramon is leaning over him) I think I am missing something!

Daphne: (raises her voice over the noise in the café and the music) And he swallowed you, Meyer!

Meyer: (engrossed in his thoughts, still intensely watching the street ) What am I missing?

Daphne tries to fight back tears and blows her nose, the loud sound breaks Meyer's spell. He looks at Daphne and smiles a worried smile.

Jerri: (hugging and leaning on Dwayne from behind with her breasts) We have to advertise!

Linc: (holding Tina's hand he leads her to the front door) What's mine is yours, baby.

At the door they bump into young Dr.Smith.

Young Dr.Smith: Ahem, hello....

Linc: Right on the nose! I'm wondering who else is missing the festivities!

In the dark corner of the cafe Erlemeyer is slowly sipping his coffee.

Erlemeyer: Voices, so many voices.



(Thanks to SpiritontheWater for the song)


--svengali2
Do no harm

Sven2

#11
Those scenes, Waxon's and mine, in and around the cafe, suppose to coincide in time, everything in those two scenes is happening in the morning. If you read it, there is some discrepancy right now in small details. That will be easy to adjust with editing.
Do no harm

Sven2

Your scene, Captain, is the beginning of Vietnam Joe story, isn't it? Makes one curious to know the rest, so where IS the rest?! :)
Asleep or unconscious, Joe has to tell it. Please?

                                                                             As you see, I only replaced "apartment" for "home".
                                                                                                                "Boss Lady"  8)
                                                                                                    Sorry, THANK YOU, of course.
Do no harm

Waxon

Great scenes and great music, Captain!  Thank you. 

Please write more when you can. 

Sven2

#14
Captain, I think this is a bit overboard,  but not for me to say, as I am not your boss, contrary to what you may think.  8)

I see that the story is on its knees, weakened by inattention, lack of candor or just moving away in time, in the river that never stops.
Would everyone think of and suggest a logical , no, better an outrageously illogical, fantastic or mysterious finale?

We can kill all the characters, or send them on the ultimate recycling trip to Alpha Centaur, or sit them in a diner with the juke box in an evening... wait,  it's already been used.
Every story must have an ending, unless the author is dead. We are still here, are we not?



                                                                                     Ideas wanted!




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